THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR TEA PARTY TEA PARTIERS

I REMEMBER ONCE I SAW THIS REAL GREAT SHIRT ABOUT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF GOLFING AND I THOUGHT WAS REAL FUNNY AND IT MADE ME LAUGH LIKE A LOT! I DON'T GOLF MYSELF, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL FUNNY.

ANYWAY, IT WAS REAL FUNNY, AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN TODAY AND I THOUGHT, THERE SHOULD BE LIKE A TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PATRIOTIC AMERICANS, FOR LIKE TEA PARTY PEOPLE, YOU KNOW? SO I GOT OUT A PAPER BAG AND I WAS WRITING THEM DOWN, AND HERE'S WHAT I ENDED UP WITH:

THE TEN TEA PARTY COMMANDMENTS:

1. THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME.

2. THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY GRAVEN IMAGE.

3. THOU SHALT NOT BOW DOWN THYSELF TO THEM, NOR SERVE THEM.

4. THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN.

5. REMEMBER HIS SABBATH DAY, TO KEEP IT HOLY.

6. HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER.

7. THOU SHALT NOT KILL.

8. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.

9. THOU SHALT NOT STEAL.

10. THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR. THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE, THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE, NOR HIS MANSERVANT, NOR HIS MAIDSERVANT, NOR HIS OX, NOR HIS ASS, NOR ANY THING THAT IS THY NEIGHBOR'S.

I KNOW IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY THE WAY IT ENDED UP, BUT AT FIRST IT HAD LIKE SOME REAL GOOD STUFF ABOUT OBAMA IN THERE THAT WAS REALLY GOOD. ANYWAY, BUT THEN I SAW THIS LITTLE PLASTIC-COVERED CARD MY WIFE HAD AND I WAS REAL EXCITED ABOUT THAT BECAUSE IT HAD ALL LIKE THE ORIGINAL TEN COMMANDMENTS ON IT, AND THEY ALL LOOKED PRETTY GOOD RIGHT THERE, SO I THOUGHT I'D JUST USE THOSE, BECAUSE GOD WROTE THOSE ONES HIMSELF SO I DON'T WANT TO BE ALL, "DEAR GOD, MY LORD AND SAVIOR, THOSE WERE PRETTY GOOD THAT YOU WROTE, BUT WE NEED SOME DIFFERENT ONES FOR US." I WAS THINKING THAT WOULD BE LIKE BLASPHEMY, SO I JUST WENT WITH THE CLASSICS, YOU KNOW, RIGHT?

ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE VISITED MY WEBSITE YET, BUT I BET PROBABLY THERE'S LIKE MAYBE A FEW THOUSAND PEOPLE THAT HAVE, I JUST DON'T KNOW. I THINK IF I'D HIT THAT MILLION MARK ALREADY I'D PROBABLY KNOW, LIKE SOMEONE WOULD HAVE CALLED ME TO INTERVIEW ME ON THE NEWS ABOUT IT OR WHATEVER. I'LL JUST KEEP PLUGGING ALONG RIGHT, JUST ONE PATRIOT DOING HIS PATRIOTIC PART TO SAVE HIS DYING COUNTRY, THAT'S ALL.

ANYWAY, IF I DO HAVE SOME READERS OUT THERE WHO ARE SMART ABOUT COMPUTERS, I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO PUT PICTURES AND STUFF ON MY WEBSITE, LIKE I'VE SEEN ON SOME OTHER WEBSITES. IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT, PLEASE CONTACT ME, MICHAEL WEINER, BY EMAILING ME A MESSAGE AT THE EMAIL ADDRESS,

FROMMYCOLDDEADHANDSNEGRO@HOTMAIL.COM.

I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT, AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR HELP, YOU MY FANS AND READERS.