Monday, March 22, 2010

My absence, ingratitude, the Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy, and a Surprise Announcment

(This is not a picture of me, but it does represent what we should all be doing right now, in the face of this, the greatest takeover of American Democracy since maybe ever.)

***

Americans!--


that is to say, former-Americans, people who once considered themselves citizens of God's most blessed country on this, the Earth, the planet he made in his infinite wisdom--

Americans!--

that is to say, people who now have no country to call their own since this once-great nation was officially disbanded by the communists and terrorist-sympathizers and baby-killers of the so-called Left, thanks for nothing Obama and Pelosi!!!--

Americans!--

that is to say, the last great patriots of this once proud and true nation that is now no more upon the nailing of the final nail into into this once-great nation's final coffin, last night's Health Care swindle--

Americans, I know you have wondered.

You have wondered, in this time of great crisis, in this hour of our most dire and essential need, why I have been so silent. Why I have been so vocally tiny. Why I have been so wildy lost and stormswept, so cloudy and so aloof, so silently, dare I say it, "unAmerican." Well, Americans, this is why: my heart. My heart has been broken. My heart has been torn asunder by Obama's wild hyenas, strangled by the vines of his green-outside/red-inside
African gourd/watermelon patch, trampled by his bureaucratic wildebeests, and stolen away like a cheap pen by his commie-liberal-socialist-Marxist swindlers and thieves.

The Lord knows your heart, Kenyan!! The Lord knows of the pact you made with his fiercest enemy, indeed with that fallen angel Satan himself, evil incarnate!!!

Here I have been, knowing that our great country was going down the toilet, one vote at a time, and all I could do was warn and inspire, warn...and inspire.

Warn. And Inspire.


Hoping I could perhaps change a heart or two or three or four or five, I penned a heartfelt tribute, a tribute to our flag, Old Glory, "the Stars and Stripes," the Star-Spangled Banner as it is often called. Some would call it just a piece of cloth, but not I. Some would call it a clothpiece, BUT NOT I.

AMERICANS!!! Hoping it would lighten the souls of this fallen country, turn its hearts and minds to Christ and to patriotism, I penned a great and important message to America's troops and non-troops. Hoping it would crack the darkness sending beams of His glorious light shining upon the traitors and their dark deeds, but NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!!!!!!

No, like the prophets of old, I spoke, and with what was I rewarded? Chocolates? Trinkets? A garland of flowers upon my frail American neck? A simple peace of mind???!!! NO!!!! I was rewarded with unpatriotic nitpicking and hairsplitting--with e-mails like the one from liberal communist God-hater Jeffrey Smith (spacebetweenvans@yahoo.com), saying that "your sentiments are obviously sincere and from a place of genuine (although uninformed) concern, but literally everything you said about the flag seems to be incorrect, created whole-cloth out of your own racist ideology and Christian beliefs. Check your facts first next time, or better yet, just stay off the Internet, please."

Or this one from likely terrorist-sympathizer Robert Weimer (rweimer@earthlink.net), who said that "
You had better read up on the colors, stripes, and the stars of our flag.

"13 stripes represent the the thirteen original states. The stars represent each and every individual state in the union. The original flag was sown by Betsy Ross in the late 1700's-early1800's (I don't remember for sure), in Philadelphia. There have been several modifiications done to the USA flag through the years. And did you know that if the flag is hung upside down, it means distress?"

Those are some fightin' words from someone who doesn't even know what CENTURY the flag was made in, ROBERT!!!

So what did I get for my efforts? What did I get? What did I GET??? Well, I'll tell what I got, I got ingratitude. And more than that, I got nothing!!! Silence!!! How many people commented on my article to thank me for my words??? NONE!!! ZERO!!!!! I am sick of this crap!!!

...Then I calmed down a little, and I got to thinking. I KNOW people read this website, because when I talk to my Tea party friends at work, they tell me they read it when I ask them. Also, people on other Tea Party websites have told me they read it, and people on Craigslist.com have told me they read it. Also, I get lots of e-mails from people telling my how great my website is or, if they're unpatriotic scumbag lefties, how "bigoted" or "ignorant" or whatever they think I am.

So here's what I think: two things. One, I think liberals are "hacking" this Internet account, maybe government-santioned liberals snooping around for Obama, and deleting my comments from people who have read my articles and loved them, trying to demoralize me. There is a vast Left-Wing conspiracy underway, and I have got a giant target painted on my chest and back and head. They want me to give up and the surest way, they figure, is to make me think that no one is listening. WELL, I'LL SHOW THEM WHO'S NOT LISTENING!!!!

The other thing I think might maybe be going on is that the Internet is just not as popular as it once was. In the 1990s, everyone was very into "the Net," with that movie and everything, but nowadays with the economy the way it is (terrible!!!), people are turning more and more to TV and their cell phones--turning away from God and his message, and toward the World and all its pleasures of the flesh. No one has time for the website of the 700 Club when they are busy undermining democracy and watching pornography!!!

Either way, I think the Internet has been my problem in getting the word out about the Tea Party, and about the Dems' threat to democracy as we knew it, because it's easy to mess with and no one's really reading it anyway, at least not the young fresh audience we need to attract to our message.

What I need is nationally syndicated television talk show, and so I am happy to announce that starting today, I will be proudly endeavoring to become the host of an award-winning nationally syndicated television talk-show on either Fox News or, if I have to, CNN, which is another cable news channel.

This may take a couple of weeks, but with God's help I know that in the end, I will be able to represent the last true American patriots to a nation who has ears but so far has not been able to hear. I will be speaking not just to Albuquerque's far-left Craigslist.com posters, but to everyone, to the world, to all those who need to hear what I have to say, the words that God Himself has placed in my heart to share: words like, "the Government needs to stay out of our private business!!!" Words like, "Gay marriage is an abomination before the Lord and needs to be banned!!!" Words like, "Tort Reform!!"

In the end, we will be able to look back with pride and say, "We really accomplished something there. And we did it, together, with Michael Weiner's help and inspiration."

Only then can we begin to truly, truly, truly heal.

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