Sunday, March 28, 2010

"It's like we're speaking another language!": A Guide to Understanding the Words of the Tea Party, for Use by Less-Patriotic Americans


Now that I have figured out how to "post" videos here, I am really living large!

That video right there is a really good video about Congressman Bart Stupak being a baby-killing scumbag, and it's really informative too about who he is and what he did recently. For those of who don't know because you were busy or whatever, Bart Stupak is this ALLEGEDLY pro-life Democrat who was supposed to vote against the health care bill but then didn't because Barack Hussein Obama our ALLEGED president agreed to ALLEGEDLY sign a continuing ban on using federal funds for abortion, though it's probably secretly like a coupon book actually for cheaper abortions that you have to have if want to be able to drive in this once-great country, knowing these guys. In short, he's a pretty hard-core communist, I think.

Anyway, when I saw that video, I was really inspired and proud, but when I showed it to my co-workers and my neighbors and this teenage kid that was sold me some frozen meat from out the back of his truck, most of them said they thought it just seemed angry and kinda violent and, I'm just quoting here, DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER, "dangerous and scary."

So then I thought, here's the problem. It's like church. When you go to church all the time, your heart gets aligned with the hearts of the other people in your church, so you understand really great, using the Holy Spirit, what everyone MEANT to say, not what they actually said. My heart right now is perfectly aligned with my brothers and sisters in the Tea Party, so when I hear these voicemail machine messages left on Bart Stupak's phone, I hear pride and love of God and country, not what they actually said.

So anyway, I was thinking, I could really help people better understand the Tea Party and these messages, by interpreting them for the heathen world. Also, I could help represent them better, show what they really mean, and so forth, and so on, hallelujah, praise God.

All right, then. HERE WE GO!!!!

MESSAGE # 1: "Congressman Stupak, you are one big piece of human s**t. And think about this: there are millions of people across the country, who wish you ill. And all of those thoughts projected on you will materialize into something that's not very good for you. We don't have to do anything but sit back and wish. Go to Hell, you piece of s**t."

Now, of course, it's just like the libs to hear a concerned citizen using her right to express herself about her love for her once-great country, the United States of America, and jump to all sorts of biased conclusions. To them, twisting reality like they do, they say this sounds like an angry lady (no wait, they're super "politically correct" or "PC" so they'd probably say, "gender-challenged individual," not "lady," they would, I know it) making a threat. But to patriots such as myself, we hear someone who loves her country and is vibrantly concerned about what's happening to it. We hear something more like this:

MESSAGE # 1 (translation): "Dear Congressman Stupak, Jesus Christ commanded us to love everyone, but to love our country even more. And right now, we are concerned that you have just destroyed our country forever, spiraling it downward into communism on a one-way street. Please re-consider what you have just done, because not only have you wrecked our whole country--sorry, sir, but you did--but you have placed your very soul at sure risk of eternal Hellfire. Consider your soul. Consider America."

MESSAGE 2: "Stupak, you're a low-life, baby-murdering, scumbag pile of steaming crap. You are a talented punk, Stupak, that's what you are, you and your family. You and your family are scum. You ought to fill your pockets with lead and jump in the Potomac. That's what you are Stupak, you're a piece of crap. We hate your guts here in the real world, America. We despise you and every punk like you, Stupak. Get out of office, get off our property!"

This one kinda makes me tear up, the love this man feels for his country is just brimming over, up, and out of his words. I can see him in my mind's eye, hand over his heart, eyes wet, collared shirt nicely tucked in, and the largest flag you have ever seen directly across from him. This man is a true patriot that the Tea Party can be proud to call its own.

MESSAGE #2 (translation): "Congressman Stupak, there is room enough in my heart for you, but I fear you will not choose to lodge there. Congressman Stupak, my love is boundless, as my love for my country proves, and should you choose to represent America in a truer way, it will be there for you and your family as well as for you. Until you begin to stop killing babies, however, and stop selling our country to communists and neo-socialists and Marxist-Leninists, I cannot give you my heart in its entirety. No sir, I cannot. I cannot give it you at all, for I fear you would not accept it. Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, once said, "Judge not, lest ye be not judged," but when the money-lenders came to the temple to give money they had stolen from the rich away to the poor who had not earned it, He drove them out with a whip, because he was the son of God, and truly knew God's heart, and knew that God cared for the people too much to burden them with riches they did not truly deserve. Congressman Stupak, I will probably not be voting for you during the next election, for I cannot do so in good conscience, knowing that you kill and probably rape babies."

There are a bunch of other messages from other patriots--one says, "I hope you bleed out your a**, got cancer and die, you mother f***er"--but they all basically mean the same things, as anyone truly in tune with our movement would tell you--a message of love of country, frustration over government, and fear for the future.

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