I can't stop crying.

I was going to write today about how it turns out Obama probably isn't an android or robot or altered guy or whatever (though he is a Kenyan and a Muslim and a socialist and maybe the Antichrist), because my wife heard from a reliable conservative source that that guy James David Manning wasn't right about that.

I was GOING to, but then when I went to type about it, I thought of some things about this once-great nation of ours, the United States of America...and Obama, and the Democrats, and that she-wolf Pelosi, and that traitor to our race Bart Stupak, and my daddy and his drinking, and how the Tea Party is working so hard to fight all that, and I just started crying and crying and I still can't stop.

It's taken me over an hour just to type these words through the tears and the shaking and, anyway, I guess I won't be able to do a full write-up today.

Hopefully, tomorrow I will be feeling better.

***

UPDATE: I finally stopped. I'm okay now.

"A Bountiful Abundance of Tape"

Today, I was cleaning up around my family's computer room, and just had to laugh and laugh at just how much tape I found while I was doing that--rolls and rolls and ROLLS of it!

Maybe it's just because I work at Costco and so I really have a lot of fun opportunities to buy, like, different kinds of tape in bulk, or maybe I have merely in truth been blessed in ways I will not be able to fully understand until some more time has passed, but for whatever reason, I really have a whole, whole, whole lot of tape, and a lot of different kinds of tape.

Duct tape. Clear packing tape. Really clear post office tape. Scotch tape. Duct tape. And easily one hundred other kinds of tape, all of which you can see in the photo I "posted" right here.

Anyway, all this tape in one place really got me to thinking: why do I, Michael Weiner, one man, one very patriotic man but a man nonetheless, have more tape than I could ever use in seven months, while whole families of God-fearing, church-going Americans don't even have enough money to put food on their tables and tires on their cars? Why do I have so much, while others have near or next to nothing?!

The answer is, I will admit, I don't know.

I don't know, but I do suspect a couple of possibilities.

ONE!: that God is rewarding me, in this and in many other ways, for my devotion to Him and to our country, or at least to the country we once had, may she rest in peace and rise again.

And TWO!: that something is very wrong with America today, that under Jungle Chief Obama's fierce reign, some of us get ALL the breaks while others merely waste and starve and pine away.

Which is it? Well, it may be a bit of both, but in this life, at least, we may never really know. Until that great day, when we pass from this life into the next, when the fog of this world is lifted from our eyes and God's glory envelops us in its love, there will be things such as this beyond the ken of our frail mortal minds.

What the Flag Really Means

That is a picture of the American flag.

I put the words you are about to read up on Craigslist.com yesterday, but felt I had really managed to say just what was in my heart about the American flag, the only flag that matters, really pretty kinda well, so I am going to put them up or "post" them here as well.

I feel they deserve to touch other lives as well as those on Craigslist.com. Feel free to print them out for use in your church or youth group or for motivational speaking engagements. They are not copyrighted, not yet anyway. They are from my heart and my head, and they are all about Old Glory, the American Flag, and what it means to me. The first part is about me, and after I wrote that, a bunch of liberal idiots wrote stuff about how our beloved flag is "just a piece of cloth" made in China, so then I wrote part two, which I think really captures something very special and true.

PART ONE: OLD GLORY, THE FLAG

Today I somehow ended up spending a couple of hours just sitting on my front porch, just holding a little flag my daughter got at a parade last year, just staring at that little flag and quietly crying the real, salty tears of a grown American patriot. I don't reckon any of this once-great nation's liberal book-worshipers out there could ever really know what it means to love one's country so much that it makes a man cry just to think about where it's heading. I don't reckon they do.

Their hearts are probably far too hard for that.

Long live America, the America of my youth.

PART TWO: NOT JUST A PIECE OF CLOTH

The American flag is NOT just a piece of cloth!! It is a symbol, anointed by God, of all that is just and holy and wonderful in this once-great nation, the United States of America!!!

RED! For the blood of patriots, and the thickening blood of tyrants that waters the tree of liberty! RED! For this country's amazing sunsets, the best in the world. RED! For our LOVE of God, the Bible, and the red, red dirt of the land. WHITE! For the faces of our founders, God keep their blessed souls. WHITE! For the purity of Christ's blessed love which he bestows freely upon all who will accept it, and cursed be they for all eternity that don't. WHITE! For the snows of Mount Rushmore and the snows of all American mountains. BLUE! For the skies above our country's many buildings and churches! BLUE! For the oceans that help protect our borders. BLUE! For the turquoise and other precious blue stones in our many profitable and important mines.

STRIPES! For reasons too sacred to discuss here fully, not in such an irreverent place as the Internet. STARS! For the stars in the eyes of all those for whom freedom is a dream and that dream is America.

The American flag has a spirit! The American flag has a soul!

When it is made, it right there right away ceases to be just a piece of cloth! It is a precious entity, and it deserves our love and our respect and our admiration! The American flag! The American flag! The American flag! I shed a tear for this once-great nation! I shed a tear for our once-beloved flag! I shed a tear for you, flag! I shed a tear! My arms are open to you!, and I will protect you from the fiery mobs and the boots that trample. I will protect you from the lies and the slander! I will protect you from the vicious dogs and their drool-slavering jaws! I will protect you from Richard Dawkins! I will protect you from Al Gore! I will protect you from your Kenyan oppressor! My heart belongs to you, because in you I see God's promised land, and God's promises are always covenants! Two-way promises! I will raise arms in your defense! I will shout truths from the rooftops in your name! I will defend you! I will! I will! I will!